Holiday Brain!

I have holiday brain.

Every year around this time of year two things happen: Work gets INSANE and most of my mental energy goes towards that. And what little mental energy I have leftover gets so pre-occupied with the holiday season and parties and cooking and decorating that my brain cannot handle other essential non-holiday and non-work tasks. This is including but not limited to making and remembering plans (Hey why don't I invite you to a party as my guest, then not even go to the party and not tell you I'm not going!), turning the stove off when not using it (Sorry I burned the place down, Adam but I found THE perfect wrapping paper today!)and more recently, not letting my car battery die.

Let me back up: my coworker had texted me Saturday night while I was at dinner, frantic that she forgot the power cord for her laptop and wanted to borrow mine. Sure I said! So she said she would be there first thing in the morning on Sunday. Fine. Happy to help.

I awake bright and early on Sunday (and by bright and early I mean bleary and hungover) and search for the cord. Once located, I begin making tea when my phone buzzes "I'm here", she says.

I make my way downstairs and out back and notice, lo, the trunk of my car is open. Hmmmm. I know I had unloaded our Best Buy purchases last night before coming in so I guess I just didn't close it all the way. Stupid, but it was empty so it's not like anyone could have taken anything. Unless they wanted 3 or 4 windshield fluid bottles that had about a 1/4 cup of the fluid each in them. Whenever I get windshield fluid, I am not able to pour it all in at once so I save the little bit left over in my trunk and think "Next time I will remember to use this when I run out" And I never do and so, yeah. Though that is neither here nor there I suppose.

ANYWAY My coworker saw me close my trunk and said "You should make sure your car will start, having the roof open can kill your battery". Nah it's fine I said, SEE? As I clicked my keyless entry button and the headlights flashed. The battery must be okay because the headlights flashed. Heaven forbid I actually get in my car and turn it on to check.

Cue to this morning, at 6:30AM I am making my way to my car to leave for work and I click the keyless entry button and....nothing. No lights flashing. No click of my car unlocking. Hmmmm. I press it again and again with the futility known by people who think pressing an elevator button will make it come faster. But of course, nothing. Then I manually locked it and put the actual key in the ignition to start it and of course it was DEAD. Of course. Had I bothered to check it yesterday I would have known that and called AAA then and not been late for work.

So the morale of the story is I have holiday brain and am a forgotten appointment away from wearing a tag on my jacket that has my name, address and emergency contact number on it for if I am found wandering the streets.

Ain't No Sporty Spice

It is well established that I am not exactly a professional sports fanatic. I mean I am not trying to be all "I don't know nothin' about nothin' about sports? I need a strong man to teach me!" nor do I begrudge others their mania, it's more like, watching hockey is boring to me. I don't find baseball at all entertaining. Football is passable because of the butt factor but other than that, don't really care for it.

Of course I am not saying a night of malternatives and fenway franks with good friends can't be a really good time! Or that sipping Sutter Home from a plastic cup while checking out the Bruins from the nosebleed seats can't take the sting out of a Monday night. Please note that both of these circumstances involve alcohol. But that is neither here nor there.

People sometimes assume, because Adam is such a huge hockey fan, that I am as well. This is REALLY not the case. But I respect his passion for the Bruins and I am happy to send him off to the Fleet Center* weekly with various friends to watch the games and have a good time and hoot and holler et cetera. (Well until recently of course).

But despite my lack of interest, when it comes to the sport, there are pretty basic things that I don't know.

A classic example of my lack of knowledge occurred today in a conversation with a coworker

Him: Are you going to the game tonight?
Me: God no.
Him: Oh right, Adam's leg. Did he manage to sell them
Me: He did!
Him: Oh good it's going to be an awesome game
Me: I know, against the Pirates right?
Him: starts to crack up
Other female coworker: I think that's a baseball team
Me: OHHHH right. Dur. The Penguins then.
Him: No..that was Monday's nights game
Me: Oh well I know it starts with P
Him: Think of something that lives in the rain forest
Me: Parrot?
Him Why would a hockey team be named after parrots?
Me: What else do you expect me to say when you say "starts with P" and "lives in the rain forest"!
Him. Uh, how about the PANTHERS
Me: Panthers don't live in the Rain Forest!
Him: Don't they?
Other female coworker: What about Bagheera?
Me and Him in Unison: OH THE JUNGLE BOOK
Me: You know I don't think the jungle and the rain forest are the same thing.

end scene

What was a casual question, turned into a source of great delight to the coworkers who overheard this exchange. And to me who was psyched that all of us about to be or well into our thirties still recall who Bagheera is!

So maybe I don't know a ton about the NHL, at least I know the Bare Necessities.

Nurse Kevorkian

Well I think it is safe to say I have failed at NaBloPoMo but hey, I gave it the old college try! Things like broken bones and vomiting marathons tend to get in the way of such things.

Things are going ok Chez Broken Leg. I brought Adam home on Saturday and he was in great spirits! We stopped at CVS to pick up his prescriptions (Percoset and Valium, what what) and even stopped by Starbucks for a Venti Iced Caramel Macchiato. Is it sad that this is becoming a ritual when one of us breaks a bone? The day you come home you get one of these delicious concoctions from Starbucks. It takes the sting out of a bonecrushing injury, if you ask me!

Anyway Saturday he mostly dozed and Sunday was much of the same. I did my duty as his private nurse: pling him with ginger ale and crackers, dosing out the pain killers ever 3 hours, the Valium every 4 hours, the Extra Strength Tylenol every 6 hours, and an Aspirin once a day.

And also what turned out to be an overdose of laxatives. Oops.

Sunday night he started feeling pretty sick, couldn't really eat dinner. Felt "gross". And that "pretty sick" became "really very sick" from Sunday night and all day Monday. He couldn't keep anything down. Kept telling me how dizzy he felt. And it was weird since the 2 days after his surgery he felt so good. I was perturbed. Had my kickass nursing skills failed?

I went into the bathroom cabinet to re-read the restrictions on his meds to see if there was some kind of bad interaction happening. It was then that I noticed that I had somehow switched my muscle relaxers (from my car accident over the summer) on the bottom shelf with his pain killers on the top shelf.

Oh crap!!!

Can you imagine? If instead of giving him 3 pain killers I gave him 3 muscle relaxers? No wonder he was dizzy!

But no, as it turns out I wasn't quite THAT dumb, as a quick pill count revealed that there was only 1 pill missing from the bottle muscle relaxers and that was the 1 pill I took when they were prescribed. Phew.

Then what is it?

Adam's contention is that I overdosed him with laxatives. As you may know, they usually advise picking up some laxatives after a surgery since pain meds can have an undesired effect, colonically speaking (how is that for a euphemism?). And you may take one or two each day after your surgery. And I took this to mean, lets give him 3 maximum doses over two days and see what happens.

What happens, as it turns out, is violent illness.

Yikes. Not what one wants to go through when one is laid up with a broken leg. A sprint to the bathroom is somewhat hampered by crutches.

TMI? Perhaps. But suffice it to say after a very blue Monday, he is feeling much much better today and the sooner we put my poisoning attempt behind us the better! In the meantime maybe it's better that he doles out his own meds.

Ready to go Again?

There are many things in life worth repeating: weekend trips to a favorite B&B, a cherished recipe, a mistake that is too fun to learn from, a bone breaking hockey accident.

Wait, what?

The call came late last night, as all calls carrying bad news do.

As a rule, Adam calls me after his hockey games, when he is on the highway heading home. I may not always answer as sometimes these calls come quite late on weeknights but I hear the phone and know it means he is on his way home. So last night when the phone rang and startled me from being half asleep I thought "Oh it's Adam on his way home" and turned over to get back to sleep. But my eye caught the clock and the time struck me as odd. 11:20PM. His game started at 10:45PM so there is no way it's over and he is already on the highway. And he never calls me DURING a game. Unless.....

Oh hell no.

As the phone started buzzing again I knew before I even answered. "Whats wrong" I asked immediately. "Don't freak out" he said "But I think I broke my leg. I am on my way to Newton Wellesley Hospital".

And my gut reaction was probably not the response most people would want to hear from their loved ones in a time of need. "Are you F-ing kidding me!?".

Seriously though. Are. You. F-ing. Kidding. Me.

If you are new to this blog you may think "My god what a beast". But if you are not new you will recall two years ago the EXACT SAME THING HAPPENING . Feet first into the boards during a hockey game, shattered his ankle, snapped his tibia and fibula in one of the worst breaks the surgeon had ever seen which led to weeks in an external fixator and visiting nurses and me getting a crash course in "pin care" and pain management and him being in the worst pain of his life.

Not cute!

This time it was pretty much the same exact thing, hooked by a stick, went feet first into the boards. Only this time he broke his OTHER leg. Same bones as the previous accident, just higher up and luckily not as severe. No accolades from the orthopedists this time for having an impressive injury, which I am thankful for. But still, a broken leg is no one's idea of a good time.

So I spent the day at the hospital with my favorite patient and he was in surprisingly good spirits given his pain and then I read an entire Danielle Steel novel during his surgery and the man now has more titanium in him than the Bionic man. The surgery was a success and there is every indication he can come home tomorrow.

And you know, after the last accident I was very very against Adam returning to hockey. But he was insistent and boys will be boys. I distinctly remember when he was packing up his equipment to hit the rink for his first practice after the shattering of bones I was vocally angry about it. Eventually that anger cooled to tolerance laced with mild hatred. But now? Holy hell. Let's just say when we were in pre-op a nurse remarked "Oh you're a hockey player? My son plays hockey too!" and I turned to her and said "You better break him of that habit NOW! Please! If you want him to be without metal rods and plates in his legs later in life, tell him to find another sport NOW". She giggled like I was kidding.

If only she knew!

10-10-10

My experience at the Chamber of Commerce breakfast yesterday made a big impression on me. I am not speaking of my kickass burn (the blister of which has doubled in size and is quite awe inspiring and hypo that I am I revel in it), but of Suzy Welch's speech. Much of which was based on her new book 10-10-10 which is kind of handbook of self awareness and decision making wherin before making decisions you ask yourself, how will this choice affect me in 10 minutes, 10 months, 10 years? It sounds cheesy I know but as someone who has scoffed that self awareness is for hippies, it made an impact on me.

As part of her speech Suzy had three questions she asked of us, questions that everyone should ask themselves and they were
1) On your 70th birthday what would make you look back on your life and cry with regret?
2) When you are not in the room, what do you want people to say about you.
3) What is something you loved about your childhood and something you hated.

I think these are really thought provoking questions. I shared them with some of my friends last night and was surprised that others were equally introspective about them. Maybe I am not becoming a hippie after all.

The first one really made me think long and hard and I am still not sure I have an answer. But even knowing that as of now I don't have an answer to that question feels like an answer in and of itself. I at some point am going to have to figure out what I really want out of life. Besides a decent blow out and a well made martini.

So I wonder of others out there, do you have immediate answers to those questions? You dont have to share what those answers are but I wonder if other people find those questions difficult to answer!

A Hot Mess. Literally.

The fact is and always will be: You really can’t take me anywhere.

I got up early today to get ready for an event at the Fairmont Copley I was attending with some coworkers. Suzy Welch was speaking at a networking breakfast for the Boston Chamber of Commerce and we were all really excited to attend. So, early I awoke and did my hair and face and picked out a professional but whimsical outfit and off I was to the city.

I am such a fail though.

For one thing, I always go the same way to work which is Quincy Shore Drive, to Morrisey Blvd, to the Expressway via Columbia Road, to The Pike, to Newton! So a reasonable person would think, well I will still go that exact way but instead of heading to the Pike I will head to South Station and make my way over to Copley.

But I first of all had it in my head that I COULD NOT BE LATE. I had visions of Suzy speaking, everyone listening in rapt attention, and me stumbling in 20 minutes late clutching my phone and bag, red faced from the run from the parking garage, probably tripping on my way in. Charming. So I decided getting on the highway in Milton made more sense. If you live around here you know that I am sincerely an idiot.

So there was traffic for days and I was running behind. Another thing you should know is even when I know where I am going, I like having the GPS on for backup. A comforting voice to re-affirm that yes, I do know where I am going. But Jane (as I call my cool British voiced GPS), was anything but comforting. She kept telling me to get off the highway and turn around. Turn around and go where! Boston is straight ahead! Jane what are you talking about! And she was getting increasingly pissed that I wouldn’t turn around. So pissed that when I refused to get off at exit 16, she stopped talking altogether.

What a beast!

But without her, I still made it to the Fairmont but then the question of parking arose. I thought there was a garage right next to it and there is, but from where I was I couldn’t get to it without going the wrong way down a one way. So I decided to go around the block and ended up almost accidentally getting on the Pike. Twice. At this point it is five minutes from the time I am supposed to be at the Fairmont sipping a coffee and listening to Suzy. So I bang down Boylston going what feels like 90 and eventually get myself to the Clarendon garage where I steam ahead to the third floor, throw my car in a spot and run over to the hotel. I arrive only 4 minutes late and people are still in the lobby getting nametags.

PHEW!

So I get my nametag and schmooze and other people are later than me and other people were clueless about parking (People who work in Newton forget that you cant just park anywhere you feel like it in the city) so I feel much better. We are seated and the event begins. Suzy is an incredible speaker, totally charming and really entertaining. People are listening intently and laughing and enjoying themselves. I am smiling and casually reach for the silver coffee pot to pour myself a cup…

…and burn the everloving F out of my hand. Of course! Because it’s me and if there is a hot surface within a 20 foot radius of me I will find a way to burn myself on it.

The searing pain makes me catch my breath but I get ahold of myself and smile it off. I put my bedeviled hand in my lap and focused on Suzy. But sweet jesus it HURT. Deep breaths. Calm cool collection. Ok I am fine.

Once the breakfast portion of the event was over it was time to make our way around and network. Which incurs hand shaking. Yowza! I did not cringe or wince outwardly because such a a thing is generally not done when making introductions, BUT with every squeeze of my hand It felt like burning my hand all over again. I powered through though! I met a lot of great people including Suzy herself who was such a delight and just a really inspirational woman.

Then again the fact that I powered through a networking breakfast with this bad boy makes me pretty inspirational too!



(Disclaimer: as with all burns (and I am speaking as an authority on the matter) the blister did not appear until a few hours later so it is not like I was shaking people's hand with this pus filled sac on my hand. Just clearing that up. Enjoy the image!)

Gilt Wins!!

(Macy's)




(Gilt)

NaBloPoMo In the House!

Starting off NaBloPoMo on a good foot - by totally forgetting to blog yesterday, November 1st.

D'oh!

I am still going to participate though because as you may know, I do what I want. Maybe if I double up one day it will even out, right?

Right!

Anywho the weekend was a bit of a blur and in the midst of the blur was one of my favorite holidays: Halloween! This year I revisted a costume I did a few years ago but totally sassed it up. Do I have a picture of this sassiness? Of course not. But here is what I did

1) Cut the sleeves off of my Ann Bolyen dress from last year, which gave me a dark green and gold tunic looking dress.

2) Used my long brown wig from last year.

3) Piled the wig on top of my head and wove bright green rubber snakes in and around it. Stuck a huge rubber snake around my neck. Painted my eyes green and was ready to go! Medusa in the house! Gorgon it up!

Adam word a fierce mullet wig, bandana, Trans Am t shirt and dirtbag mustache. I believe his costume was "a creep". And creepy it certainly was!!

We met up with Andy and his lovely roommates for some pre-party festivities and then joined the masses at Ashmont Grill's annual costume party which was a BLAST! I am telling you, when you see a large man dressed up as Marie Antoinette walking into a place, you know you are at the right party! Nearly everyone was costumed to the hilt and the bartenders did a great job keeping us all sauced. We danced to hits of the late 70s and hung out on the "haunted patio". All in all a splendid time.

Of course I was the deadbeatingest of all deadbeats yesterday. The majority of my day was spent trying to get into "Hell's Kitchen" but I just do not like it. I wish I did. But Top Chef still takes the cake followed closely by The Next Iron Chef (which in many ways is basically the same thing although Alton Brown is way more palatable than that Tom Collichio if you ask me).

And so here we are on Monday and I am actually looking forward to this week. Things at work are insane but the good kind of insane that keeps you busy and makes you feel like you're actually good at what you do. Love it.

Stay tuned for more inanity every single day this month. Work!

Two for the Price of One

Picture it: Southeastern Expressway 6PM, Wednesday, somewhere near exit 12.

My cell phone rings and it's my brother. Wait, first some background info:

Adam and I and my brother are kind of tag team taking care of the dog while my parents are in South Africa for a few weeks. So on Mondays and Wednesdays Adam goes to my parents' after work to walk and feed him, on Tuesdays and Thursdays I do, and on Fridays/the weekend Peter usually handles it.

Ok so back to the story. The phone rings and it's Peter

"What time did Adam walk the dog today?" he asks

"Uh, not sure. Probably around 4ish?"

"Do you know if when he walked the dog, there was a car in the backyard?"

"What!? A car"

"Yeah there's a car parked in the backyard"

"What!?"

Now this is not an every day occurance at our house. IN fact it has never happened. So we were both a little disturbed.

"What do you think its doing there?" I asked, knowing the obvious answer (Hello, dead body in the trunk. I watch Law and Order. I know what goes on).

"I don't know a stolen car someone ditched?"

"Why would they ditch the car in someones backYARD? I thought you would ditch a car some place it wouldnt be seen right away".

While we debated the finer points of thieves/murderers logic, I decided to call Adam and see if by chance he had seen anything when he was there feeding the dog. When I called him he informed me that while there was not a car in the backyard, there had been tire tracks leading from the front yard to the back yard and the yard was all kinds of ripped up. But no car. And furthermore if I ever checked my voicemail I would know this (true).

So I call my brother back, at this point heading over there instead of back to my apartment and relay to him this new info. Not only was a car parked there now but it had been making trips for some reason to and from the back yard. Curiouser and curiouser!

At this point a diagram might be helpful.



As you may recal Wednesday was really rainy and gross and as such this car and it's several trips had ripped up the side yard and much of the backyard. Peter told me he had called the police and they were going to send someone down but they weren't that surprised or concerned about it.

Clearly they don't watch Law and Order as much as I do.

In any case I told Peter that whoever's car that was had been back and forth a few times and Adam had seen the tracks. Nothing was missing from the house though. What the heck is going on?

We ended the conversation and I continued my drive to my parents' house. When I was almost there Peter called me "A tow truck just came and I called the police back and told them not to come...it was the PAINTER'S CAR".

My parents are having the house painted while they are gone and apparently he decided that because it was raining he didnt want to carry his paint buckets to the back yard, he wanted to drive them there by driving through the side yard and backyard instead of down the driveway (???)

I don't know how a mind works that decides that driving and tearing up the lawn of someone you work for is a good idea.

So apparently the whole abandoned car thing happened because on one of his trips out back the car got STUCK in the lawn and he attempted to dig it out with a shovel several times before leaving to call a tow truck.

Again. ???????

It doesn't make any sense to me at all. And yet to him it made perfect sense. I find this both amusing and a little scary. He did go back and sod over the ruined lawn and I am sure come spring it will be fine but in the meantime it makes a good story!

Not Five Things

Inspired by Jenny. And by inspired I mean totally ripped off from her. Thanks woman!


1) Samurai Chai Mate from Teavana: All of the caffeine of coffee plus "strong spices, invigorating herbs and revitalizing citrus". Delicious!!



2) Snakeskin Accessories. This obsession/mission began a few months ago at, where else, the Talbouts Outlet. I found the most amazing snakeskin bag. Roomy. Slouchy. Snakeskin. Braided Straps. Perfection! However at over $100 it was a bit out of my price range so I decided to wait for a price break, since there were so many of them I figured what the hey? Next thing I know they go down to $36 but are sold out! WAH!! This bag haunts my dream and I am on the hunt for it's twin. I just really love the edginess of snakeskin in a really nice leather. Sigh.

3) Finding the perfect "Fall" nail color. Right now it's Siberian Nights from OPI but I am getting bored with it. Have you tried the new matte color line? That might be next on the list althuogh my nails are so short I am accustomed to the pizazz of shiny nail polish.





4) Solutions AM/PM Face Cream. Its about time I got myself into a day AND night facial care regime and this fits the bill. I need a lot more moistureizer as the seasons change and the AM cream is nice and light but still makes my skin feel great. The night is a bit heavier but not greasy. Just enough so you feel like it's going to do good things for you while you sleep. And it does. Not to mention you really can't beat the price.



5) The fact that I have had this brower open ALL DAY and could not come up with a fifth thing. I am apparently only into four (4) things currently. That's all I can handle! Just four. A fifth thing would throw me totally off balance.